[yvsanil]

• A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover?"
"A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!"
She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the closet.

• A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?

• Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one."
Wife: I'll bet it's that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.

• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

• Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.

• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

• The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?
No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it.

• Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early & found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

• Doctor: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

• Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

[Life Xpect]

Last one was lame, others looked nice :)