[Dana]

Is it ever ok to spy on your spouse?
I had to write some articles for a client a few weeks ago that pitched computer monitoring software. I had to make it sound like there were several reasons why you'd want to spy on your kids (which I get...to keep them safe) on your employees (hey, it's their company so as long as you know that you might be monitored, I'm cool with that) and your spouse or significant other. I had a bit of a hard time with that one.
I have been known to peek at where my spouse might have surfed but to monitor his every keystroke? I would have to be in a pretty bad place in my relationship to feel that desperate. I'm thinking everyone deserves a certain degree of privacy but if you suspect they're cheating--maybe it would be worthwhile to find out for sure.

What do you think?

[Ajay]

I think if the need ever arises to spy on your spouse, it will have to be a really reall pressing issue.

Openness and confrontation usually helps, unless you can tell they are blatantly lying.

[shavei7]

i definitely think that parents need to keep an eye on what their kids are doing on the internet... it's no secret that pedophiles and what-nots prey on these kids online....

[Calum]

Originally Posted by shavei7

i definitely think that parents need to keep an eye on what their kids are doing on the internet... it's no secret that pedophiles and what-nots prey on these kids online....

However, there comes a time when kids become more tech-savvy than their parents. It's one thing keeping your child safe and checking up on them once in a while, and quite another to spy on them. What if their parents haven't told them that they're spying on them, then the kid finds out that their every move has been monitored for the last x years? How would they feel in such a situation? I feel that if parents feel the need to spy on their kids, it just shows how far they have sunk. If they feel they must do it, I think that the person or people being monitored need to know, otherwise it's just wrong and on a level with spyware.

[CoreClient]

If your target is smart enough then he'll soon catch any such softwares installed and/or running .. So doing such stuff is totally useless, unless your spouse is a computer newbie

[lisah746]

My problem is if you can't trust your spouse or SO that much then what is the point of the relationship anyways?

For the sake of the software and for those that are desprate to keep an eye on their spouse/SO I would go along the lines of "Is he/she cheating? Find out now with this software". "See what they have been up to and with whom they have been having internet relations with"

[shavei7]

Originally Posted by Calum

However, there comes a time when kids become more tech-savvy than their parents. It's one thing keeping your child safe and checking up on them once in a while, and quite another to spy on them. What if their parents haven't told them that they're spying on them, then the kid finds out that their every move has been monitored for the last x years? How would they feel in such a situation? I feel that if parents feel the need to spy on their kids, it just shows how far they have sunk. If they feel they must do it, I think that the person or people being monitored need to know, otherwise it's just wrong and on a level with spyware.

"monitored for the last x years" *skeptical* dramatic.

there is a thin line between keeping an eye on your child to protect him and to that where you MONITOR the kid's EVERY MOVE. it's only the freaking internet-- not having somebody following him or having cameras installed on the room. protecting your child does not mean that you have SUNK. i'm not a parent. far from it. but i understand the need for this especially for ages 7 to pre-teens. and about techno savvy, the parents need not be more techno-savy than the kids. they could always ask for a prof./tech person to take care of the software.

again, JMO

[mozza]

spouses - mutual respect is important, so no.

kids - early years, it's good for them if you provide them with extra protection.

teens - guide them instead of setting all the restriction. the more you keep them from it, the more they want to try it.

So to spy or not, it depends on individual cases..

[ScottHughes]

There's a difference between monitoring your kid and spying on them. In the former case, the kids know they're being monitored. In the latter case, your setting a bad example for your children by using deceitful tactics.

If someone can't trust their spouse or significant other, it's time to end the relationship.