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yvsanil · 08-16-2006

• An army sergeant told Santa to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned.
"I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the sergeant. "Why did you come back?"
"Because there's already somebody there!"

• A priest was praying for guidance: Oh God, grant me this knowledge: what is the meaning of life?
For a while, Creation was silent. Then a booming voice, sounding severely pissed-off, shouts from heaven: Read the F*#kin FAQ!

• A man is in the hospital after getting drunk and swallowing 120 coins on a bet. Doctors monitoring his situation say, so far, no change.

• Santa tripped on a broken curb and went to the hospital.
After examining him, the doctor said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you. First of all, you'll never be able to work again."
Santa replied, "Okay, now what's the bad news?"

• An application for job came in with an applicant's picture attached. She was a pretty blonde. On the back of the picture was hand written: "Picture on front".

• What's the difference between me and a Viking?" Olli asked.
"No idea, said Ville."
"When the Vikings used to come home after their wars, that's when the real drinking began. But when I come home after a few drinks, that's when the real war begins."

• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

• As an inspirational measure, a boss placed a sign in the restroom directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: THINK
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at his sign, and right next to it, above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign, which read: THOAP!

• At weddings old aunts used 2 tease me saying: You are next, you are next.
But they stopped it since I started doing the same to them at funerals!

08-16-2006	#1 (permalink)
yvsanil Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 29 Posts: 112	Some more ....read them • An army sergeant told Santa to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. "I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the sergeant. "Why did you come back?" "Because there's already somebody there!" • A priest was praying for guidance: Oh God, grant me this knowledge: what is the meaning of life? For a while, Creation was silent. Then a booming voice, sounding severely pissed-off, shouts from heaven: Read the F*#kin FAQ! • A man is in the hospital after getting drunk and swallowing 120 coins on a bet. Doctors monitoring his situation say, so far, no change. • Santa tripped on a broken curb and went to the hospital. After examining him, the doctor said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you. First of all, you'll never be able to work again." Santa replied, "Okay, now what's the bad news?" • An application for job came in with an applicant's picture attached. She was a pretty blonde. On the back of the picture was hand written: "Picture on front". • What's the difference between me and a Viking?" Olli asked. "No idea, said Ville." "When the Vikings used to come home after their wars, that's when the real drinking began. But when I come home after a few drinks, that's when the real war begins." • Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. • As an inspirational measure, a boss placed a sign in the restroom directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: THINK The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at his sign, and right next to it, above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign, which read: THOAP! • At weddings old aunts used 2 tease me saying: You are next, you are next. But they stopped it since I started doing the same to them at funerals!